The Island President Review: Paradise Almost Lost

By Ben Macdonald

Directed by Jon Shenk
Earliest Year of Release: 2011

The bright blue waters and golden beaches of the Maldives islands stand in stark contrast to the grim near-future it faces and its history of state torture. The Maldives spent 30 years under the repressive regime of Maumoon Abdul Gayoom. Among the government’s political prisoners was Mohamed Nasheed, who, miraculously, travelled from solitary confinement to the presidency. When the Maldives finally achieves democracy, the country begins addressing their most pressing concern. For the Maldives, climate change is not some vague, distant threat but their present reality. In a decade’s time the islands will be underwater and a whole culture and civilization will be wiped out. The film follows Nasheed as he races to get the most powerful nations in the world to save his nation. The political roadblocks of selfishness and short-sightedness he runs up against are fairly infuriating.

The film’s aerial and underwater shots wonderfully capture the beauty of the islands. This is a far cry from the power point presentation of An Inconvenient Truth. The film’s soundtrack is made up mostly of a variety of pre-existing Radiohead songs (as good a way to my heart as any), which may be the perfect choice of band to score a quiet, slowly encroaching apocalypse.

The text at the end of the film informs us Nasheed has been removed from office by a coup d’état. The future looks bleak for the Maldives. Soon it will be too late for them, and us. As the end credits roll, Radiohead’s ‘How to Disappear Completely’ plays us out. Thom Yorke sings hauntingly:

“In a little while

I’ll be gone

The moments already passed

Yeah, yeah, it’s gone”

Coming Soon to Scruffy Nerfherder

Hey all, Ben here.

This summer you can expect to find my ‘stuck up, half-witted, scruffy-looking Nerfherder’-self writing a bunch of bite-sized movie reviews. I’ll be reviewing some of the films I just happen to see, including everything from old classics to new theatrical releases. There may be some content overlap with my esteemed associate, Mr. Braid, and my output might be sporadic. I won’t be giving any ratings out of fear for my sanity. I’ll also be posting my reviews on my Letterboxd account.

That’s all folks.

2014 Predictions: The 10 Biggest Movies This Summer

By Andrew Braid

Hello everyone, sorry I've been away for some time! But I figured now would be a good time to pop back up, what with the advent of this year's summer movie season. It's well-known that this is the big one, the 4-month span from May to August where Hollywood makes the bulk of its money, pumping out the biggest tentpoles they can manage in hopes that they will reign supreme atop the big mountain of money, that their films will be the ones everyone talks about, that theirs will make waves across the country, and perhaps even the world.

So yeah, no pressure, Hollywood!

2014's slate has been viewed by many as an "also-ran", a less memorable year that everyone will bide their time through until 2015 where all the HUUUUGE stuff is coming out (Avengers: Age of Ultron, the final Hunger Games movie, the next James Bond movie, Fast and Furious 7, Jurassic World, and of course the much-fabled Star Wars Episode VII). Compared to all that... yeah, 2014 doesn't quite hold a candle by comparison. But that doesn't mean that we won't be in for some damn big movies while we wait for all that to roll around next year. 

But you might be wondering (or maybe just want a refresher): what are the biggest movies coming out this summer? Well I'm glad you asked (if you did indeed ask, I'll just assume you did)! This Top 10 will be my predictions for what will be the biggest movies coming out this summer. This will be based on domestic grosses only, although big overseas totals are likely for many of these film as well. So let's get started with my predictions, beginning with my #1 pick...

#1: How to Train Your Dragon 2

Release Date: June 13

Rated PG

In 3D

Is this a surprise? Well maybe it shouldn't be.
Think about it: the first film was already one of DreamWorks Animation's biggest hits, bringing in a big $217.6 million mainly thanks to its fantastic word of mouth. How to Train Your Dragon has a jaw-droppingly good 98% Fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes and has cultivated a big following of fans who absolutely LOVED the story of wimpy viking teen Hiccup and his dragon friend Toothless. The audience that drove the first film to a $217 million domestic total will undoubtedly come out for the second film in what will be an epic animated trilogy. Animated sequels often outgross the original film, especially if that first film got a lot of lasting audience love like Dragon did.
Case in point:

Toy Story (1995)- $191.7 million

Toy Story 2 (1999)- $245.8 million (+ 22%)
Toy Story 3 (2010)- $415 million (+ 40.7 %)

Shrek (2001)- $267.6 million

Shrek 2 (2004)- $441.2 million (+ 39.3%)

Despicable Me (2010)- $251.5 million

Despicable Me 2 (2013)- $368 million (+ 31.6%)

The only obstacles that could get in the way of this trend is failure to distinguish the sequel from the first one, something which Dragon 2 has handily avoided: the film is set 5 years after the first, with a cast that has grown up with its audience to go alongside the bigger scale and scope of the new film's story. The marketing, while having the habit of trying to make the film look more comedic and mainstream-appealing, has still effectively sold the message that this is a film that will definitely prove to be special like the first one, and set itself apart from the competition.
Speaking of competition, there basically is none: the only other animated film opening this summer is Planes: Fire and Rescue (and yes, it looks just as painful as the first one) on July 18. That sequel is to a critically-drubbed first film that was only modestly successful ($90.2 million), and Fire and Rescue would be lucky to match that. With no heavyweight animated films from Pixar, Disney or Illumination (aka the studio behind Despicable Me), How to Train Your Dragon 2 has this lucrative audience all to itself for over a month, spanning from mid-June to well past the big July 4th holiday weekend. And with a film likely to deliver in quality, expect legs to be stronger than most other summer box office contenders this year.

#2: Transformers: Age of Extinction

Release Date: June 27
Rated PG-13
In 3D and IMAX 3D




This is the one that many consider the "safe bet" for the summer box office crown, and it's not hard to see why: the Transformers series is hugely popular, basically proving to be a license to print money that won't wear out anytime soon. But while the series has been growing bigger and bigger overseas (BTW, Age of Extinction pretty much already has the race for biggest movie internationally in the bag), domestic audiences seem to be losing interest.

Transformers (2007)- $319.2 million ($390.5 million intl.)
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)- $402.1 million ($434.2 million intl.)
(+ 20.6% domestic; + 10% overseas)
Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011)- $352.4 million ($771.4 million intl.)
(- 12% domestic; + 43.7% overseas)

Franchise fatigue inevitably takes its toll around the fourth instalment of most series, resulting in significant declines in grosses and becoming the lowest-grossing entries to date (for example, Shrek Forever After declined 26% from Shrek the Third, and Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides was off 22% from At World's End). While the entirely new cast might give things some zip (especially with Mark Wahlberg as the series' new human lead) and the addition of the Dinobots will definitely get a lot of fans interested, it's clear that the franchise already peaked domestically with the much-reviled Revenge of the Fallen. The wide sentiment of dislike for that film undoubtedly hurt Dark of the Moon, which wasn't received too much better by critics or audiences. While a big domestic gross is still a certainty, Age of Extinction will likely be the lowest-grossing entry of the series in North America.
Not that it matters to the film's producers, because they clearly made this one for the international markets, particularly China (the previous film grossed record numbers in that market, and this new one was partially shot in China).

#3: X-Men: Days of Future Past

Release Date: May 23
Rated PG-13
In 3D



While recent entries have been declining in grosses (with $146.4 million for X-Men: First Class and $132.5 million for last year's The Wolverine), the X-Men series seems primed for a resurgence with the latest film Days of Future Past. This one brings together the cast of the original X-Men trilogy with many of the returning cast from First Class (including beloved Oscar-winning superstar Jennifer Lawrence as Mystique), essentially doing whatever it can to bring back older fans who may have jumped ship after 2006's X-Men: The Last Stand (which is still the biggest domestic grosser in the series with $234.3 million). Of all the comic book movies coming out this summer, Days of Future Past definitely has the most hype, and has gained lots of attention ever since the credits tease for the movie attached to The Wolverine last summer. It also has strong scheduling for its opening weekend, debuting right on the Memorial Day holiday weekend, which is usually one of the biggest box office weekends of the year (last year's 4-day weekend brought in a record $307.5 million across all movies).
There are some obstacles that may stand in the way of Days of Future Past, though (and I don't just mean the recent allegations facing its director- I'm surprised that hasn't been causing more trouble for the film so far). The X-Men films have traditionally been pretty frontloaded at the box office, so the film will really have to make the most of that opening weekend. Plus it's still a considerable gamble to try to win back this much audience all in the span of one movie- just because bringing back the original cast worked for Fast and Furious doesn't necessarily guarantee a similar degree of success here (remember, back in 2009 no one was expecting that franchise to come back in such a big way). Still, a major resurgence for the series definitely seems to be in the cards, though there's a ceiling for how high it can go (probably not much more than $250 million +).

#4: The Amazing Spider-Man 2

Release Date: May 2
Rated PG-13
In 3D and IMAX 3D



2012's The Amazing Spider-Man may have been the lowest-grossing Spider-Man film to date so far, but it still webbed up a strong $262 million, which was enough to get Sony to charge ahead with their already-greenlit sequel. Critical and audience reception was overall decent but kind of lukewarm for the reboot, which doesn't bode too well. However, Sony has been absolutely relentless in their marketing campaign for Amazing Spider-Man 2, effectively highlighting the new villains and colourful 3D superhero action. Whether the all-in marketing strategy is out of confidence or desperation remains to be seen (the studio hasn't been putting much effort into marketing the rest of their summer slate because they REALLY want/need ASM2 to be a hit), but the advance buzz has been solid, with many saying it's a big step up from the previous film, a fun way to kick off the summer movie season.
Speaking of which, that's ASM2's biggest asset: the prime summer kickoff opening on the first weekend of May. Competition will be light going in, and the movie will undoubtedly open big as it should appeal widely to comic book fans and mainstream audiences. The legs afterwards may be a problem: while its second weekend is more or less all-clear, it will soon after get engulfed by other major May blockbusters Godzilla and X-Men. This is basically what happened to the first ASM movie: while it held well in its second weekend, it completely cratered afterwards once The Dark Knight Rises opened. Overall I think this film appears more in line with what audiences want from a new Spider-Man film, and should at least come close to the grosses of the previous film.

#5: Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

Release Date: July 11
Rated PG-13
In 3D



2011's Rise of the Planet of the Apes was a surprise smash when it came out, matching its great reviews with a $176.8 million gross that exceeded everyone's expectations. The film was well-received by audiences, and the upcoming sequel presents an exciting continuation of the story with a post-apocalyptic war between apes and humans. Recent screenings of footage at CinemaCon and WonderCon have received hugely positive response, and its release date in mid-July is great positioning. With a surprisingly weak July slate overall (it seems like mostly a lot of modest performers and likely big-budget flops such as Hercules and, unfortunately, Jupiter Ascending), expect Dawn to rule the box office for much of the month.

#6: Godzilla

Release Date: May 16
Rated PG-13
In 3D and IMAX 3D



Godzilla is definitely summer 2014's biggest wild card, one of the few non-sequel tentpoles that's rebooting a long-dormant series widely-known to the public but not all that widely seen outside of its home country Japan. The one prior attempt to make Godzilla into a big-budget Hollywood blockbuster was the widely-derided Roland Emmerich film from 1998, famously hyped within an inch of its life by studio Sony (which I'm suuure they've learned their lesson from), only to gross a comparatively disappointing $136.8 million (adjusted for inflation that's over $230 million, which is actually more than a lot of the movies on this list will probably make).
Seeing how that film was released 16 years ago and isn't really talked about much anymore, it's safe to say that this new Godzilla won't have to worry about any comparisons to that stinker. Trailers have generated a ton of hype and excitement, mixing jaw-dropping footage teasing the titular kaiju's size and carnage (in particular the memorable military skydiving scene) with a dark, foreboding and emotional tone that effectively hints at the film's human element. The film's mid-May release date is a double-edged sword: it has enough space from Amazing Spider-Man 2  to score a big opening weekend, but it will face a lot of competition the week after from X-Men (though the Memorial Day holiday could soften the blow somewhat). Still, expect this monster to leave a sizable footprint.

#7: Guardians of the Galaxy

Release Date: August 1
Rated PG-13
In 3D and IMAX 3D



The other big wild card this summer, Marvel Studio's latest has a potentially huge advantage in opening right at the beginning of August. August is always the weakest month of the summer movie season, lacking in any major tentpole blockbusters, so a normally-risky prospect like Guardians of the Galaxy could fill a big void for blockbuster entertainment. The obscurity of the source material could be a major roadblock, but the trailers so far has done a great job combatting this issue, effectively introducing the cast of characters and selling the offbeat tone of this space action comedy. The trailers have received a lot of attention and online hype, exciting the Marvel faithful who will undoubtedly turn up for this. Expanding to more mainstream audiences will be tougher, but a gross around the same level as the first Thor and Captain America movies ($181 million and $176.6 million respectively) seems like a reasonable expectation.

#8: Maleficent

Release Date: May 30
Rated PG
In 3D



Angelina Jolie, one of the biggest Hollywood stars in the world, playing Disney's most iconic villainess in a new live-action twist on the Sleeping Beauty tale, pulling heavily (and I mean heavily- just look at this trailer, for crying out loud) from the visual iconography of that Disney classic? Yep, seems like a safe bet this will make money.
To be serious though, even with a crowded Summer slate when it opens at the end of May, Maleficent should still see a solid audience turnout. The film should be appealing to family audiences who will have literally nothing else to go see at this time, and should stand out as a female-drive blockbuster in a month littered with male-dominated tentpoles. Two years ago Snow White and the Huntsman opened on this exact same weekend and played to a similar audience for a strong domestic tally of $155.3 million, which sounds about right for Maleficent.

#9: Neighbors

Release Date: May 9
Rated R



There's traditionally at least one or two big R-rated comedy hits each summer, and Neighbors seems poised to be one of them, maybe even the biggest one. The film's release date is the same slot where Bridesmaids launched to big legs and big success, and should play as strong counter-programming to the deluge of big-budget action movies. It helps that the film has already gotten advance buzz-building screenings (much like Bridesmaids), and the talk is that this one definitely delivers the laughs (it has an early Rotten Tomatoes score so far of 100%; it obviously won't stay that way, but it certainly bodes very well). Coupled with ample drawing power from Seth Rogen and Zac Efron, expect this one to be a solid early-summer hit.


#10: Tammy
Release Date: July 2
Rated R



Melissa McCarthy is on FIRE right now, and everyone knows it. Following her breakthrough role in the smash hit Bridesmaids, last year saw McCarthy's starpower tested as a lead with two comedy vehicles, and both Identity Thief ($134.5 million) and The Heat ($159.5 million) became smash hits. Whereas those two films had her teamed with co-stars like Jason Bateman and Sandra Bullock, Tammy is a pure solo vehicle through and through, a road trip comedy conceived by McCarthy herself. While the removal of the co-star safety net has made many give more conservative estimates to Tammy's potential, let's face it: Melissa McCarthy is the real deal, the latest bona fide comedy superstar that practically everyone is in love with. Expect the marketing to kick into high gear soon, and McCarthy's starpower mixed with the ever-reliable road trip comedy template to draw in sizable crowds. On top of all that, the film is primely positioned to open on the July 4th holiday weekend, where it can undoubtedly make a huge splash.


Other Potential Contenders:
Blended (May 23)
A Million Ways to Die in the West (May 30)
The Fault in Our Stars (June 6)
22 Jump Street (June 13)
Sex Tape (July 25)
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (August 8)


Well that's my list! What do you think will be the biggest movies this summer? Talk amongst yourselves, and thanks for reading!

Noah Review: A Sweeping Biblical Epic (Minus Most of the Pesky Christian Stuff)

By Andrew Braid

Directed by Darren Aronofsky

Starring: Russell Crowe, Jennifer Connelly, Emma Watson, Ray Winstone, Logan Lerman, Anthony Hopkins

Release Date: March 28, 2014

Presented in 2D and IMAX

I'm not really a fan of Bible stories.

To clarify, I wouldn't consider myself religious at all for that matter, though the reasons for that are a completely different (and ultimately not very necessary) discussion. But I think I can speak for many where the idea of a "Christian" film or a Bible movie sets off alarms to abandon ship right then and there. Whether it's bland, sanitized and cheaply-made drivel like Son of God (or The Bible miniseries from which it's repurposed from) or insulting, propaganda-littered and cheaply-made drivel like the recently-released God's Not Dead (I could write a whole article about how inane and full of s*** that movie is- but I won't, because it really doesn't deserve to have its existence acknowledged any more than I already have), the wastes of cinematic space that get called "Christian" films these days are a far cry from the Biblical films of yore like The Ten Commandments, Ben Hur or The Last Temptation of Christ. Hell, even in the 90s we could still get movies like DreamWorks Animation's The Prince of Egypt, an animated film (and a musical, no less!) that even in a more truncated 90 minutes or so still tells an epic, powerful story about two brothers ultimately driven apart by their diverging paths in life. This gets to the real problem with such films as they tend to be made today: they get so swept up in "inspiring people's faith" (ie. encouraging their sense of "moral righteousness" and reinforcing what they already believe) that they don't bother to put real creative or thoughtful effort into telling good, compelling stories with any real depth or dimension. Filmmakers have a sea of possibilities to work with when it comes to Biblical films (or hell, films involving faith in general), but instead they act like easily-frightened children, either too scared or too unwilling to swim out of even the most shallow end of the pool.
By contrast, Noah, the latest film from acclaimed Oscar-nominated director Darren Aronofsky (Requiem for a Dream, The Wrestler, Black Swan), does far more than just swim out of the shallow end of the pool. Noah is a film that dives headlong into the deepest waters it can find and never looks back, never letting anything stop it from trying to reach the ambitious heights it sets for itself. His only prior big-budget experience being with the divisive philosophical fantasy The Fountain (which was still made for only a quarter the budget of Noah), Aronofsky brings his distinct visual eye and a big-star cast to the table as he sets out on bringing the story of Noah's ark to life like you've never seen it before. Normally that would sound like a pull quote from the Netflix synopsis, but that's where Aronofsky really pulls you through the ringer, destroying any preconceptions one might have: you've definitely never seen the story done like this before.

To say that describing Noah's story is an exercise in redundancy is simultaneously an understatement and a premature judgement: of course you'd know the basic story that everyone knows, but even then you likely won't be prepared for just how Aronofsky tells it. Noah is a film of a rare breed, a Bible story stripped of many of its Christian religious elements. Instead the film treats its story as if it was a mythic fantasy film, albeit one certainly not devoid of spiritual elements. The Watchers, angels encased in giant stone bodies as punishment for defying the Creator to help the humans, walk the land like stop motion figures, as if they were pulled from the works of Ray Harryhausen. "God" is never mentioned, instead referred throughout the film as "the Creator". Noah's visions are depicted as hallucinogenic dream sequences with repeating symbolism (the snake, the apple, the stone used to kill Abel), ultimately left up to Noah own interpretation. But how can Noah truly know what the Creator wants? How can he accurately derive meaning from these visions, glimpses from a being whose very existence and creed is beyond any mortal comprehension? And how could Noah ever maintain a sense of rational, clear-headed sanity after, you know, having a god in his brain?

Because, you know, that worked out so well for this guy.

Moreover the film has a bent much further towards evolution and environmentalism: a standout sequence from the film shows Noah's old family story about the origins of life on Earth, going from the Big Bang all the way to the evolution of the tiniest microbes, to fish, to reptiles, to apes and eventually man. This leads into the story of Adam and Eve, creating a world where the Creator and science work in tandem rather than being forced into war with one another. It's all brought to screen through the mind of Aronofsky and the film's superb visual effects, resulting in a movie that rarely spends even a moment looking anything short of astonishing. First brought to life by Aronofsky as a badass graphic novel before bringing it to screen (he took the same approach when making The Fountain), the film's barren, dying world ravaged by the descendants of Cain feels fully realized, imbued with a rich sense of mythology like the best kinds of fantasy works.

Pictured: Badass graphic novel

The cast too is excellent, ranging from Jennifer Connelly as Noah's wife Naameh to Emma Watson in an emotional turn as Ila, a woman taken in by Noah's family as a girl after being abandoned and scarred, incapable of bearing children. Russell Crowe gives his best performance in what feels like ages (likely his best work since Gladiator), bringing a subtle sense of nuance to what could have easily become a role consisting of little more than bland stoicism. His Noah is a man put upon to do the will of a force he cannot ever hope to truly understand, driven to go to whatever lengths he feels necessary to make a future for the world, even if he must combat the destruction of his own soul in the process. Even Logan Lerman, whom I've never really cared for before (he's usually... okay, I guess?), gives strong work as Noah's second son Ham, who more than anyone else in the family grows to doubt his father's heavy decisions. In a small yet crucial supporting role, Anthony Hopkins brings wisdom, simple wit and gravitas to the role of Noah's grandfather Methuselah. His scenes best showcase the strengths of the film's writing, at times being almost lyrical and poetic in its deep, emotional prose. Meanwhile Ray Winstone brings commanding presence as Tubal-Cain, leader of what remains of human survivors, giving the film an antagonist with equal parts savagery and cunning, who despite his immoral actions is still fighting for survival rather than mere greed or power. He is the face who represents everything Noah grows to despise about humanity, a face that will likely haunt Noah until the end of his days.





Perhaps the most crucial way Noah stands apart from other versions of the well-worn ark story is how it doesn't shy away from the inherently dark nature of the source. While the film still earns a PG-13 rating, it's a fairly violent, wrenching tale about a man who decides to leave the rest of humanity to die, a fact that Aronofsky forces both the characters and the audience to acknowledge at every turn. We as viewers are asked to truly consider the morality of a character traditionally portrayed as a "good guy", to wonder how far is too far for Noah to go in his efforts for the greater good of the Earth (one choice made by Noah in the middle of the film is downright shocking). We are made to understand and even sympathize with his plight, even as opposing sides raise entirely valid counterpoints.
The film's final act proves a fascinating subversion of the film's previous epic scope, conflicting emotions among Noah and his family morphing the story into a cabin fever psychological thriller. Naameh and the rest of the family (particularly Ham) begin to seriously doubt Noah's sanity and sense of morality, a plot that could very easily have fallen flat on its face under any other circumstances. But here they have every right to be afraid of Noah: his visions have given him (not entirely unjustified) pessimism and contempt for humanity, convincing him that if this second chance for the world is to have any hope of survival, humans should not exist in it. In this sense Noah does become a story that inspires faith, putting the audience in Noah's perspective as he grapples with his own human nature, having the deaths of many on his shoulders, ultimately learning to feel love again and give humanity a second chance (regardless of whether or not they deserve it). 

He also learned to stop taking ethics and philosophy lessons from Pamela Isley.

Noah is a spectacular film, the kind of unique big-budget epic that one would feel lucky to see on the big screen at all, especially as we're still pretty early into the year. Some may find its ambition and particular methods of interpretation perhaps too bizarre or unwieldy (I wouldn't be surprised if the walking stone Watchers turn some people off), but even so it nevertheless makes for a cinematic experience that demands to be seen, and most certainly one that deserves a chance from those who may have already written it off. It is a film that truly incites discussion and debate amongst its audience, as great art is wont to do. Noah is Aronofsky's vision through and through, taking a story that has been told and remade to death for centuries and making it feel fresh and exciting again. In the process it sets a whole new bar for movies of its ilk, which I can only hope inspires other filmmakers to reach for such heights the next time someone gets an idea to bring a story from the old book to the screen.

Final Review Score: 9.5 / 10

Pros: 

+ A visually astonishing fantasy epic from a true visionary filmmaker

+ Ambitious, bold and daring in its twists on a well-worn tale

+ Excellent performances across the board, with Russell Crowe doing his best work in years

+ Thematically rich, raising fascinating questions of morality by not shying away from the darker elements of the story most versions try to sanitize

Cons:

- Divisive, not for everyone (though frankly it's a better film for that)

Wow, two genuine contenders for my Top 10 list this year (the first, of course, being The Lego Movie), and we're only just starting April! Who'd have thunk it? 

TV Top 10s: The Top 11 Best Episodes- Buffy the Vampire Slayer

By Andrew Braid

Into every generation a Slayer is born: 
one girl in all the world, a chosen one.
She alone will wield the strength and skill to fight the vampires, demons, and the forces of darkness;
to stop the spread of their evil and the swell of their number.
She is the Slayer.

A long time ago, a youthful writer named Joss Whedon came up with a clever, subversive little idea. He was a man very familiar with conventions and horror movie tropes. One particular trope caught his attention: in so many movies, the "dumb blonde girl" character usually dies first, helpless and screaming, all because she walked into some dark alley. This is when a fateful lightbulb from the pop culture heavens entered his brain. He asked himself: what if that "dumb blonde girl" character were the hero? What if she not only fought back against the monsters and bad guys, but kicked major ass doing it? What if this seemingly ordinary girl turned out to be extraordinary?
In 1992 Whedon's script was brought to the screen in the film Buffy the Vampire Slayer, starring Kristy Swanson, Luke Perry, Rutger Hauer, Paul Reubens, and Donald Sutherland.
It sucked.

Flash-forward to 1996, and Joss' idea was resurrected as a television series for the still-fresh upstart WB Network, eager to look out for hip original programming to help make a name for itself. The film, while not very well received, was still a modest box office success, but even so none of the major networks showed interest in Joss' pitch. Then the WB Network came along, ordering a pilot and later a 12-episode order for midseason. This time Joss had true creative control, ensuring his vision was brought to life the way he intended. Expectations weren't exactly high for the show, either for ratings or critical success.
On March 10, 1997, Buffy the Vampire Slayer first premiered on television screens. Seven seasons and 144 episodes later, it ended its run celebrated as one of the greatest television series of all time, backed by a hardcore devoted fanbase whose demand for more is strong enough that the series still continues in comic book form (the first issue of Season 10 is released this month). It even spawned a concurrent, much-loved spinoff series that was successful in its own right. It may have been overlooked by the more elite awards shows, but viewers knew better- Buffy the Vampire Slayer wasn't just any other show. It was something bound to endure for years to come.

To say nothing of how long people will debate between these two.*1

What can I say about Buffy the Vampire Slayer? Or, perhaps more pertinent to ask, what have I not said already about Buffy the Vampire Slayer? At this point the show's legacy more or less speaks for itself- it proved that working in fantasy, horror and other kinds of "genre" television wasn't some sentence to schlock but a potential gateway for whole other kinds of writing. You could mix horror, humor, action, fantasy, romance, drama, suspense, mystery, hell even musical numbers: Buffy did it all, and had it all, leaving viewers in rapt anticipation for what the next episode would have up its sleeves. In the end it wasn't just one show- it was all the shows.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer ranks among my all-time favorite television series (big surprise there), and to celebrate it (and the aforementioned debut of Season 10, I guess- hey, if a tie-in presents itself, take it) I'm here to count down my picks for the Top 11 best episodes the series ever gave us. With a show as generally consistent in its quality as Buffy, narrowing this down to a list of even 11 episodes is a struggle for anyone, especially as each fan's favorites are bound to vary wildly (with few exceptions). There are many great episodes of the series I don't get to mention here, so I will reassure you all that if your favorites don't pop up then it by no means translates to me thinking it's a bad or weak episode. Because really, there are no outright bad episodes of Buffy (not even "Beer Bad"- though not for a lack of trying). I love the show through and through, and this is my own little tribute to celebrate the great moments that stood out to me.
Oh, and it should go without saying BEWARE OF SPOILERS. If you haven't seen the show yet (or still need to finish it), then you probably want to go do that ASAP and come back later.

Honorable Mentions: Passion (S2, E17), Becoming- Parts 1 and 2 (S2, E21/22), Band Candy (S3, E6), The Wish (S3, E9), Amends (S3, E10), Superstar (S4, E17), Fool for Love (S5, E7), Tabula Rasa (S6, E8), Selfless (S7, E5)


And now, the Top 11 Best Episodes of Buffy, starting with...

#11: The Gift (Season 5, Episode 22)

Written and Directed by Joss Whedon

 

"I know that I'm a monster, but... you treat me like a man..."

Yeah, I had to cheat a bit and make it a Top 11, because while not quite the best season finale Buffy ever did, boy does "The Gift" get close. Everything from Season 5 (the second-best overall season of the show) comes together here in beautiful fashion- Xander and Anya get hitched! Buffy lets Spike back into her house! Willow restores Tara's mind! Giles crosses the line that Buffy never would! Dawn needs to be rescued, but we actually care this time! It all ends with a spectacular action climax climbing up a construction tower, as Buffy prepares to make the ultimate sacrifice for her sister. The beautiful, emotional conclusion alone puts "The Gift" among the show's best. It's...
*sniff* I'm not c-crying, why are you?

#10: Pangs (Season 4, Episode 8)

Written by Jane Espenson

Directed by Michael Lange

"Soon he'll be sweating... I'm imagining having sex with him again..."

If there were a competition for most quotable episode of Buffy, "Pangs" would undoubtedly make it to the championship title bout. There's a goldmine of great lines here, be they relating to Anya's lusts for Xander, Xander's unfortunate new curse (putting to rest the old hat idea that syphillis is ever not funny), Spike's utter desperation, and Buffy's wishy-washy uncomfortable dilemma in having to fight the spirits of a Native American tribe intent on wreaking havoc on Sunnydale in time for Thanksgiving. Sure, Willow's sudden disapproval of the holiday mostly pops up just for the sake of having that point-of-view presented, but are you really going to complain about such things when you're left laughing so hard? Maybe it is a sham... but it's a sham with yams!

#9: Family (Season 5, Episode 6)

Written and Directed by Joss Whedon

 

"Every time I- even when I'm at my worst, you make me feel special. How do you do that?" "Magic."

The first and only episode to center around Willow's girlfriend Tara as the story's main focus, it honestly makes me wish the character (and her actress Amber Benson) had gotten more time to potentially shine. This episode marks the point where she becomes a full-blown member of the Scoobies, confronting the father and siblings who tried to manipulate and control her all this time (including bitchy sister Amy Adams!). These final scenes, where the gang stands up for Tara and call themselves her family, make the episode for me, culminating in a slightly cheesy, but by no means any less heartwarming, magical embrace.
It still gets me every time...

#8: Doppelgangland (Season 3, Episode 16)

Written and Directed by Joss Whedon

 

I will make it no secret that the shy yet smart and highly capable Willow Rosenberg is my favorite Buffy character (with Anya ranking a close second, followed by Spike), and "Doppelgangland" is perhaps a better argument than any as for why. Alyson Hannigan plays four, count 'em, four different takes on Willow here, ranging from the sadistic, darkly kinky Vampire Willow (accidentally pulled from the alternate universe created by Anya in "The Wish") to Willow having to impersonate Vampire Willow in order to save her friends. It's a killer showcase episode built around a deviously fun (although admittedly fanservice-y) premise, yet another big hit from the show at its peak. The reintroduction of Anya certainly helps, showing the early signs of how this character would eventually make herself a staple of the series ("I'm a mortal, a child... and I'm flunking math!"). It's an episode that reminds us why we love the character so much, but also shows us how much she's grown (and hints at how she'll continue to do so).

#7: Chosen (Season 7, Episode 22)

Written and Directed by Joss Whedon

 

"I just realized something, something that never really occurred to me before. We're going to win."

Season 7, while damn good overall, had a handful of bumps in the road, but no one will argue that the big season (and series!) finale didn't deliver in a very big way. It starts with a relaxing buildup: Angel pops in one last time, hookups are had, D&D games are played. It's all a quiet calm before the mother of all s***storms- a final fight with the forces of The First Evil, threatening to tear apart the world as we know it. The scale has never been higher, nor have the stakes and most definitely not the casualties (Anya NOOOOOOOO!). It all culminates in a huge gamechanger for the Buffy-verse, sharing the Slayer power with ALL of the Potentials out there across the world (talk about literal female empowerment!). The story continues on in the comics (which rock, BTW), but for now the Scoobies can't go home again.
Seriously, they can't. It's a f***ing crater now.

Sunnydale: still in better shape than Detroit.

#6: Something Blue (Season 4, Episode 9)

Written by Tracey Forbes

Directed by Nick Marck

 

"Honey, we need to talk about the invitations. Now do you wanna be William the Bloody or just Spike? Cuz either way it's gonna be majorly weird."

Here' the weird thing about Season 4: when it comes to the actual "Big Bad" season arc, it's pretty weak overall. But whenever the season got to sideline (or outright forget about) most of its Initiative and Adam-related content, it put out some of the best and most memorable hours of the entire series. "Something Blue" is a prime example of this: the Initiative merely gets mentioned and Riley does pop up, but only for the sake of mining more comedy from Buffy and Spike's magic-induced wedding proposal. Instead, the episode is devoted to firing laughs throughout, as Willow's depression following her breakup with Oz leads to a spell gone very (hilariously) wrong. The show takes a concept with amazing potential ("What if everything Willow says comes true?") and actually manages to live up to it in its own Buffy-style fashion, with everyone stumbling around trying to figure out how the hell this is all happening.
And no, Buffy and Spike as a lovesick couple planning invitations will never stop being funny.

#5: Graduation Day- Parts 1 and 2 (Season 3, Episodes 21 and 22)

Written and Directed by Joss Whedon

"We survived." "It was a hell of a battle." "Not the battle. High school."

Buffy season finales have been somewhat hit (Seasons 2, 5 and 7) and miss (Seasons 4*2 and 6), but with Season 3's big finish the show capped off its best season with a truly killer 2-part high note. This one has it all- a big showdown between Buffy and Faith, the final ultimate plan of Mayor Wilkins (still the best Big Bad the show ever had, though not for lack of trying), the final nail in the coffin of Buffy and Angel's relationship, the final nail in the coffin of Cordelia and Wesley's wannabe relationship, hummus, and a climactic battle that pays off not just this season but all 3 seasons to this point in a massively satisfying manner. It's a textbook definition of how to do a season finale right, and it easily stands as one of the show's biggest highlights.

#4: Once More With Feeling (Season 6, Episode 7)

Written and Directed by Joss Whedon

 

I'll just leave this here.

Do I really have to explain this one? It's the freakin' musical episode, EVERYONE knows why this one rules. Many fans rank it as the absolute best of the entire series, and believe me they sure as hell ain't far off. The songs are all a delight, peppered with infectiously clever lyrics and all performed by the show's incredibly game cast. Gellar and Marsters give the episode its center, though it's Emma Caulfield as Anya and Amber Benson's Tara who truly stand out with their amazing vocal chops. And do I honestly have to keep going? Just listen to "I'll Never Tell" again and pretend I'm delivering some kind of fascinating academic dissertation.

#3: The Zeppo (Season 3, Episode 13)

Written by Dan Vebber

Directed by James Whitmore, Jr.

"What is it? How do you get it? Who doesn't have it, and who decides who doesn't have it? What is the essence of 'cool'?"

"The Zeppo" is a brilliant parody of the show's formula, sidelining the usual end-of-the-world Buffy plotline into the background, instead focusing on the everyman "Zeppo" (look it up!) of the group, one Xander Harris. No episode has better answered the question "Why IS Xander here on this show?", proving why he is so essential in his role as the seemingly useless everyman, the Jimmy Olsen to Buffy's Superman. Nicholas Brendon truly shines here, stepping up to the plate to give us a Xander who is both tragically unlucky in his pursuit of cool and yet very lucky to have a strength, resourcefulness and capability within him that he more than anyone underestimates. In the end it's incredibly affirming that Xander realizes that he doesn't need recognition for being a hero, so long as he knows he was one. And none of this even mentions how breathlessly funny "The Zeppo" is, wildly escalating in both Xander's A-plot and everyone else's absurdly devoid of context B plot (the funniest part for me being when Xander awkwardly interrupts yet another tearful Buffy/Angel moment). This episode's profile has risen among fans over time, and for good reason: it's clever approach of cheeky deconstruction makes it easily stands among Buffy's best.

#2: The Body (Season 5, Episode 16)

Written and Directed by Joss Whedon

 

"But I don't understand. I don't understand how this all happens."

I'll admit, number one for this list is contentious. In all regards "The Body" is a masterpiece- not just objectively the best episode of Buffy, but one of the single best pieces of television ever made. Indeed, no hour of television has shocked, horrified, and all around left me a quivering emotional wreck as much as this one. Sarah Michelle Gellar does undoubtedly her finest acting of the entire series right here, doing an early first act sequence all in one long take as she struggles to come to terms with what she has just come home to. The direction by Whedon is top-notch, immediate and unflinching. Emma Caulfield once again becomes a standout through a scene so honest and heart-wrenching that it is literally impossible not to break into a pile of tears right along with her.
At the same time though, it's a particularly distinct episode of Buffy, with almost no jokes whatsoever and only one small action beat at the end, harshly driving home that no matter how hard this experience is, life must still go on. It succeeds so beautifully in part because it is an episode very unlike Buffy, starkly presenting one of the most realistic portrayals of dealing with death and grief ever committed to television. It's also an episode that has been admitted time and again as the hardest one to watch, not exactly lending itself well to repeat viewings like so many other installments of the series. As undeniably phenomenal as "The Body" is, I felt that I should give the #1 spot to the episode that best exemplifies Buffy as a whole (at least for me), even though it's debatable whether or not it's truly the best episode of the entire series. In other words, I guess you could say the top 2 are more or less interchangeable, depending on what you prefer as the best representation of the show as a whole.
But even so, #2 isn't exactly low praise, and I believe "The Body" should be seen (at least once) by anyone who truly loves television as an artistic medium.



So then, what does take the top spot? What episode really and truly embodies Buffy at its best?

#1: Hush (Season 4, Episode 10)

Written and Directed by Joss Whedon

 



Even with the aforementioned contention, I doubt anyone can argue against this choice. In fact, it's arguably the easiest choice one could go with for the top spot in a Best of Buffy list. Even if it doesn't always end up at the top of everyone's personal lists, it's the one episode that is absolutely guaranteed to make it on there, no matter what kind of Buffy fan you are. Of all the show's "gimmick" episodes, "Hush" presents the most clever conceit- nearly an entire episode devoid of spoken dialogue, brought about when the fairy tale menaces known as The Gentlemen (still the most genuinely frightening monster-of-the-week to ever grace the series) steal the voices of everyone in Sunnydale. As The Gentlemen stalk the streets at night the Scoobies must come up with a plan, all while working out their various communication issues (because Joss Whedon is clever like that)."Hush" represents the show at the peak of its creativity, delivering in full concentrated force everything that makes Buffy great: exciting action, hysterical comedy (seriously, just try to watch the classroom projector scene and not break into laughter. I dare you.), surprisingly creepy horror, sweet and charming romance, and the dramas of being an everyday young adult in a town beset with all manner of goings-on that are anything but everyday.
And for that, "Hush" is my pick for the best episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.


Thanks for reading, everyone! (And before you ask, yes I do have a Top 10 for Angel raring to go for the near-future).

*1: Since you must know, I'm Team Spike. It's hardly even a question for me.
*2: I'm referring to the actual season-arc resolution itself with Adam and The Initiative, not the actual last episode of Season 4 ("Restless"), which is a crazy cool, lovably bizarre and surreal cap to an appropriately experimental season.